Skills For a Healthy Relationship
Couples often come to therapy with the expectation of fixing one problem: COMMUNICATION. Everyone feels that if they can just learn to communicate better, then the relationship will be void of deceit, conflict, and misunderstanding. As a therapist I am taught to look for patterns and all too often I find many couples stuck in repetitive patterns that are not beneficial for the relationship. If your desire is to maintain a relationship that can stand the test of time, please consider implementing three small changes to your daily routine.
Make It Known
When was the last time you made it known that your partner has been one of the best things to happen to you since sliced bread. Frequently, individuals neglect to share with each other and the world just how important their significant other is in their life. This neglect can sometimes lead partners to feel less validated and unwanted. You can avoid or eliminate any doubt from your partner by simply expressing gratitude to them to foster positive emotions and improve satisfaction with the relationship. When you become more appreciative of your better half you are able to be more responsive and committed to their needs.
If a problem arises in your relationship, both parties should work together to come to a swift solution. Lingering problems will cause stress that create anxiety and make a foray into stifled intimacy. Beyond the problems one will have in the relationship, there will be difficult personal situations and circumstances that demand our attention. During these times, individuals should have their partner to lean on and provide support. However, if one hasn’t solved the problems within the relationship, they are less likely to go to their partner for support during these difficult moments and times, when they need it the most. Successful relationships are not those with the fewest problems but those that have effective means in which they solve their problems. Quite simply, have a relationship in which you are able to sit down, discuss, and decide together on a path to take to address the problem at hand.
When there is a romantic connection, days turn into months and months turn into years. As you continue to spend these years together, you incrementally lose yourself in small ways. In the spirit of compromise you don’t listen to music as loudly as you did before your partner began to get headaches because of your volume choice. Or you place your hobby on hold, to attend events associated with your partner’s entrepreneur path in an effort to help them build an empire for you to share. As you make the choice to compromise or neglect your own interest for a period of time, you might have feelings that evolve into other feelings of being shut out, unheard, or simply craving to reclaim your own favorite pastime. Taking and giving each other space to be your authentic self can increase overall satisfaction in the relationship. Give each other time to play music loudly and engage old leisure activities.
No amount education or tips from a blog will counteract a bad partner choice. And these three aforementioned changes are not best suited to fit every couple and their specific problem(s). However, by implementing any one (or all three) of these tips, you can possibly begin to decrease areas or aspects of your relationship that are preventing you from living an optimal life. For additional insight into ways you and your partner can increase satisfaction in your relationship, make an appointment at Gravity Counseling Group.