Expectations of A Man

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It has often been said that there is no perfect man or woman. You may agree perfection is fleeting at best while others believe it is not a real possibility. However, you have expectations of individuals you engage regularly or maintain a relationship with. You have expectations of your boss, teammates, partner, siblings, parents, and much more. Those expectations have affected your career, friendships, love life, family, and community involvement.

As the title so plainly announce, this focus of this blog is the expectations of a man or manhood. What does the ideal man embody that brings about positivity to the world? The characteristics that immediately come to my mind are provider and protector. Down through the years many books, articles, and media have also focused on ambition, commitment, integrity, intelligence, and confidence. A dip into newer social media platforms such as Tik Tok, one will uncover additional ideal features such as funny, athletic, spiritual, tall, dark, and handsome. All of these things are good and many men aspire to exude these throughout their time on earth. Yet all too often, these desirable qualities feel erroneous on some and displayed inappropriately in others.

Rigid adherence to expectations as we are taught, can lead to undesirable outcomes such as depression, aggression, and overall poor psychological well-being. The ultimate expectation of man should come from within. Far too often, some men look to others to tell them what they should and shouldn’t do. How they should and should not behave. You may consume varying degrees or forms of media that present in such a way that you aspire to be what you see acquire the most likes or views. As a certain amount of success accumulate throughout the years, you tend to hold to these characteristics that you feel made you successful. Additionally, you can be overcome by the sensationalism of misogynistic and toxic masculinity attitudes. The very expectations you have allowed to navigate your ideas of success, over time, can limit you in some capacity.

As you continue to mature, emotional intelligence is paramount. You must find within you the ability to identify and manage your own expectation of manhood, after understanding what those around you expect. Mutual respect, communication, empathy, and companionship are some of the characteristics that immediately come to mind. These attributes are not always link with manhood but yet they are most often desired when partners describe their idea person for an intimate relationship. To develop your own expectations of a man, you must assess your current strengths. Additionally, you must identify other strengths that are necessary for you to be the best version of yourself. Seeking professional help will aid you in identifying current strength, growth areas, and cognitive biases. Gaining greater self-awareness will allow you to be emotionally intelligent and subsequently more secure in your idea of what manhood means to you.